Navigating the holidays: Tips for conversations and well-being
By Will Dudenhausen, Training & Education Director at DSC: Dialogue in Support of Community
Visiting family over the holidays is a time-honored tradition, and one that can spark waves of joy, nostalgia, and, if we’re honest, sometimes a dash of dread. Between spirited debates, clashing viewpoints, and the weight of shared history, it’s no surprise family gatherings can bring a touch of anxiety alongside the festive cheer. So how do you make the most out of your time together?
Here are a few practical tips to help make your holiday visits more manageable—and maybe even more enjoyable.
1. Set Healthy Boundaries
Consider ahead of time the conversations you’d prefer to sidestep, whether it’s politics, social issues, or that personal topic that somehow resurfaces every year. And ask yourself: have you ever changed Aunt Jennifer’s mind over mashed potatoes? Probably not.
It’s perfectly acceptable to say, “This isn’t a conversation I’m up for right now,” and gently steer things in another direction. Setting boundaries isn’t rude, it’s a way to protect your peace so you can actually enjoy the time you’ve carved out to be together.
2. Take a Break
When tensions begin to rise, sometimes the wisest move is to step away—literally. Plan for mini-breaks to help you reset: step outside for fresh air, take a short walk, or slip away for a quiet moment with a mug of cocoa.
Building in these “sanity breaks” keeps the day feeling manageable and allows you to show up as your best self. A few slow breaths can do wonders when the room starts to feel a little too full of holiday spirit.
3. Bring Your Best Communication Skills
Approaching family time with patience and intention can shift gatherings from something to get through to something truly meaningful. After all, if we didn’t care, we wouldn’t be there.
To support deeper, more positive connections, lean into your strongest communication skills:
Practice Presence by offering your full attention and showing genuine interest.
Practice Active Listening by staying curious, open, and slow to judgement.
Practice Gentle Assertion by sharing your feelings both clearly and kindly.
A few helpful phrases to keep handy:
• “Tell me more about how you came to feel that way.”
• “What’s next for you in the new year?”
• “It sounds like this year has been really challenging for you.”
• “It sounds like you were really happy with the way things have turned out.”
• “When you bring up that story from last year, I feel uncomfortable. I’d appreciate it if we could leave that one in the past and focus on today.”
• “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by this conversation—I’m going to take a short break.
Whether your gatherings turn out to be simply tolerable or unexpectedly delightful, all of us at DSC send our hope for holidays filled with peace, love, laughter, and meaningful connections.
Since 1978, DSC has been North Carolina’s original non-profit mediation center focused on promoting and bringing about the peaceful settlement of disputes and preventing the escalation of conflict. We work with individuals, groups, and institutions and offer youth programs and regular training sessions in our community. www.dscnc.org
DSC is located at 302 West Weaver Street.
